was on your shoulders, in a cab,

where I forgot the world,

and let my shoulders go slack.

Where I knew you’d fight my demons.

.

Now, goodnight world.

I hope I sleep.

the unpolished kind that gets stuck too often.

before I put that driver to the skull,

come talk to me.

this is a cry for help.

I held it in my palm.

Then it shot out sparks of coloured light

and burnt my insides.

Still, I held firmly on to it,

worried it might run.

To my alarm, the mighty pain slowly became fun.

It continued to dazzle

and my eyes became fixated,

as I watched the magic eat flesh,

the pain feel fresh,

and my hollowness became a spaceship that

I could ride into the blaze.

What do you see, what don’t you see, what do you feel, is it surreal? It’s  hard to tell under this spell, if the world is white or just a reel. I love you.

I learnt to trust while distrusting, and that I will always seem like just a kid in parts of the world. I joined in the 4th of July Independence Day celebrations in San Diego, felt the supernatural in San Luis Obispo, met really nice people in Lake Tahoe, San Francisco and on the Amtrak train. It’s enough, and I want to go home.

I’ve sung Singapore national day songs in the room of an inn, eaten way to much bread, and wanted to thump the head of more than one irritating kid. Been to Legoland, San Diego Zoo, Monterey Bay Aquarium and Disneyland California Adventure where I took an upside down roller coaster ride for the very first time, probably my last too.

And for my first time away from home for such a long time, maybe a little bit too long, I’ve spent enough time and money away from home for now. I miss the people I love, and the keys of my piano, and my Japanese work. I miss how small Singapore is and how foreigners will almost never feel the same way about the country the way Singaporeans do.

I appreciate Singlish, because it really is all we have to identify one another, and I appreciate our multi-cultural, multi-food food courts, multi-everything you can squish into one tiny island-state home.

I’m looking forward to going home. To the place I know I won’t be able to sing the next National Day Song because it’s just TOO contemporary, but love it anyway.

Posted: Saturday, 26 June 2010 12:19PM

2 Injured in UC Berkeley Dorm Fire

BERKELEY, Calif. (KCBS) — Two people were hospitalized after a three alarm fire prompted the evacuation of a student dorm at UC Berkeley early Saturday morning.

Smoke alarms started to go off around 4:15 a.m. in Ehrman Hall, a dorm located near campus, in the 2600 block of Haste Street.

Police responded to the call at 5 a.m.

Berkeley Assistant Fire Chief Rod Foster said four floors were heavily smoke charged upon arrival.

More than 100 students were evacuated and two were hospitalized for minor smoke inhalation.

One foreign exchange student from Singapore, staying in the dorm, immediately ran for the staircase when she woke up and found the corridor completely filled with smoke.

The blaze is believed to have started from something discarded in the trash chute that ignited debris in the trash room in the building’s basement.

According to Foster, the building was evacuated and over 100 people were triaged, two of which were then transported to a nearby hospital.

Firefighters were called back to the scene an hour after wrapping up the initial call when investigators on the scene smelled more smoke.

UC Berkeley officials are working to get most of the students back into their rooms soon, though some rooms may not be habitable for a while.

Damage was limited to minor smoke issues on the top four floors of the eight-story dormitory or from firefighter-forced entry and some water damage in the lobby and basement.

The cause of the fire is still under investigation.

(ato)

Courtesy:

http://www.kcbs.com/bayareanews/2-Injured-in-UC-Berkeley-Dorm-Fire/7558390

Days have been passed with classes, readings, shopping and random walking. Watching men hold signs and try to protest laser-beam terrorism, fellow schoolmates try and get me to help fund their efforts to divert nuclear weapon investment into helping the homeless sitting at every corner with a dog, not begging merely asking. They may be poor but they retain human’s most precious possession – dignity.

Nights are spent doing work, when the sun goes down and police vans patrol the area and the hobos begin their partying.

The air is chilly in the morning and evening and I cannot begin to imagine what it feels like to sleep in the open with the sky as my blanket and the grass as my bed, a rip in my pants and a shirt worn so thin it’s like my death cloak each time the wind blows. I sympathize, but it’s all I can do. But is that really all I can do.

Saviour of the broken, there’s that death parade and of course work to be done. Speak to me in my sleep because I’m listening though I’m deaf.

Since my arrival in Berkeley, the school, the state, I’ve seen the truth in many things. Maybe there is some truth in the saying that love is being able to quarrel with the person you love. Well, it’d definitely suck more to be quarreling with someone you hate for sure.

Asians hang out with Asians most times because Caucasians are not what television dramas make them out to be. They are not more vocal, neither are they more sociable. They do make random comments, there are more tramps and beggars, but the are definitely not who I thought they’d be.

I haven’t changed, I’m still cheapskate and picking up used files from the Cal student resource exchange closet, but spending on random stuff like colour pencils, and missing my loved ones a whole lot. But while I miss them, it’s one time I’m grateful for technology because it’s really brought the world that much closer. I can see them, hear them, talk to them, albeit writing and sending stuff to them is a pain in my pocket.

Summer is not warm. It’s where you wear multiple layers, and if your heater is down, like mine is, you wear gloves and a scarf in your room. You keep your hands in your pockets – shop with your eyes – to avoid chilly sausage fingers. And in general, cover up, this is not the time to look nice. The weather is really warping up and it’s time we do something about the way we’re behaving because this is Mother Nature’s kick in our ass for our behaviour these past years, leaving the tap running, doubling up the plastic bag so your heavy groceries won’t fall out, opening and closing the refrigerator door.

Singapore universities will never reach the cult status Berkeley has. To give an idea of what Berkeley is in the hearts of the people here – there are Berkeley sweatshirts and pants and every imaginable clothe, underwear, caps, handphone covers, baby clothes and accessories, car plates, watches, signet rings, bags etc. You name it, i’ll bet they have it.

I’ll on a more emotional note, that I do so miss Singapore, the people, the place. Not the weather, but for everything else I guess I’d give up the cooling, sometimes too chilly weather here. I got packages today, for the first time in my life, and it’s possibly the most exciting thing ever! With love, I’ll be back soon, you know who you are. With love, I wish I could share this world with you.

Life is like music, a little bit risk when you forget about technique, but it’s what makes a person unique – going your own way, becoming so engrossed, focused and passionate about living your life, that the rest of the world exists in just a blur. And all you can see is the beauty, whether great or little, you’re creating and passing on. Live and inspire others to live too.

It’s just three days more, partly surreal, with friends and colleagues bidding me farewell. It’s a whole lot of fun, excitement and anxious nervousness. What if something doesn’t work out or someone falls apart? – the answer for me is clear – Go to God in prayer, trust, and take that leap of faith. I’ll lose many people in this lifetime, whether they walk off, I walk off, or one of us passes on. But I’ll be glad we met. And I’ll be glad I got a chance to learn something from you. And I’ll be glad that you’re happy.

A new journey begins, and I wonder where God will lead me to this time. But wherever it is, it’s meant to be, and I live like I always should have. Like I’m playing a piece, lost in my music, where body and soul takes over mind and heart. You’re only young once.

And when my fingers strike those keys these days, I find myself transported like I used to be when I was smaller, before my piano teacher told me to keep my body ramrod straight, and play like a professional. It’s like the music takes over with familiarity of the keyboard, and it’s music I’ll soon return to the world. I want to play again.Well.

I feel alive.

Things have changed fast, and people have moved, on and away. Some things are constant, but life is not one of them. I could be disgruntled daily that I’m nowhere near what I’d like to be, and not doing the things I wish I were. But if I wanted them enough, I’d find a way anyway.

So I wrote a song, for my grandma who I wish I could scold and hug all at the same time. But it’s unpolished, unfinished, sort of like a gathering of unspoken love.

And in the night, when I worry if she sleeps, I remind myself, She too is in my daddy God’s hands. There is no need to worry.